"Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread roots into the very depth of your heart. Confess to yourself you would have to die if you were forbidden to write." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Chapter One. Enjoy.

CHAPTER ONE

Lucia walked the streets, shading her hazel eyes from the headlights of the passing cars. She was deep in thought, trying to figure out what was going on with her.  She had just woken up from an evening nap, and it was 10pm, hoping to be fully rested so that she and her 2 best friends could go to a club tonight.  However, her nap was not very comforting. 

In her dream, she was asleep in a huge 4-poster bed by herself. The room was barely lit, short of a tall slim red candle sitting on either nightstand near the headboard.  In the distance, she could hear a piano being played, but it was almost indiscernible. Every chestnut tendril was splayed perfectly around her soft face.  Suddenly, a woman crawled up onto the bed from the foot, hissing as she moved.  Lucia awoke, seeing the woman, but was not startled by her.  The woman kissed her on the lips, slowly, sensuously, licking.  She then moved to her ear, licking, nibbling.  Then abruptly, the woman sat up, backing away from her.  Lucia attempted to reach out, but couldn’t move, as if she were paralyzed.  She looked down, and noticed that her body was wrapped in snakes. 

A man dressed in black appeared in the room with dark, striking features.  He had jet black hair, a wide mouth, and a strong nose and jaw line. His eyes were cold, soulless.

“It is time,” he said, floating to her side.  He waved his hand, causing her body to levitate up to him.  The snakes fell away, but she was still paralyzed.  He smoothed her hair away, softly kissing her neck.  He then kissed her collarbone, smelling her.  He ripped the front of her gown open with the mere sharpness of one of his fingernails revealing her small round breasts.  Cupping one into his hand, he lowered his head and bit down.  Lucia woke with a start when this happened and was now walking about, trying to make sense of things. 


“Wow, that dream sounds HOT,” her friend Mai said when Lucia retold the story later on at the club.

“Yeah. You should write it down,” Paul replied, sipping on his Rum and Coke.

“The thing I don’t understand is that it was so REAL.  And I woke up with a terrible pain in my left breast,” Lucia shook her head, finishing off her Long Island. 

“Let’s dance,” she said, trying to forget the whole ordeal. She grabbed their hands and pulled them on the blacklight adorned dance floor.

An hour later, Lucia and Mai were still dancing, but Lucia was feeling strange. She stopped. It felt like someone was watching her…intently.  She looked around, but it was hard to tell with so many people.  She knew she was being watched, though. It was almost as if she could feel their eyes boring into the back of her neck.  She cautiously touched back there, and told Mai that she would be right back.  She walked toward the bathroom, fighting her way through the bustling crowd. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a woman.  The woman from her dream, she realized.  Lucia looked away, and then quickly looked back.  She was still there, and was now staring at her.

“Come with me,” She heard the woman say, but didn’t see her lips move.  Lucia nodded, following her out of a back exit into the chilly night air without question. In the far recesses of her mind, she knew there was something odd about her obedience, but the thought quickly dissipated. The back exit led to an alley that smelled alarmingly like decaying bodies and rat feces.  She covered her face, slightly gagging at the smell.  She continued to follow the woman down the alley to a black town car with tinted windows that was waiting at the opening to the street.  The woman opened the door, motioning for Lucia to get in. She got into the backseat and the woman sat in front.  She looked back, smiling slightly.

“It’s a long drive,” she stated.  Lucia nodded, and then quickly fell asleep.

When she awoke, the car was still on the road; a long, dark, dirt road.  Lucia had no idea where she was, or even how long she had been asleep.  As she looked outside, all she could see were trees, and the moon. That moon, in its flawless, unwavering, full beauty.  There was a circle around it.  It made Lucia think of when she was a child. 

As a child, Lucia was often in the kitchen with her grandmother.  Her grandmother was always cooking, it seemed, and never for the family.  On one particular night, though, her grandmother was making an especially unsavory smelling stew for a young newly married neighbor down the street.  Lucia decided to stand on the back porch to get away from the smell when she noticed the moon. It was full, and had a circle around it.  She went in, excitedly telling her grandmother all about it, but once her grandmother went to take a look, the excitement was gone. She pulled Lucia back into the house, closing the door. She began rummaging through her drawers and cabinets until she pulled out a braided leather necklace with a pink stone on the end. 

“This is rose quartz, bella,” she said, placing the necklace around Lucia’s neck.  

“It will protect you from harm.  Don’t look at that moon, sweetheart.” Then she went back to cooking the stew, muttering incoherently. 5 hours later, the police had called saying that her mother had tried to kill her father by stabbing him.

Lucia turned away from the moon, back into the car.  The girl turned back to her. 

“Oh, you’re awake,” she said.  Lucia nodded.

“Uh…where are we?” she asked

“It’ll be about a half hour,” the girl answered as if Lucia never spoke.  Lucia placed her hand on her neck, playing with the rose quartz between her fingers.

After what seemed like an eternity, they finally pulled up to a huge Victorian-style house set right in the middle of about 200 acres of land. Only one light was on, and it was upstairs. Lucia felt a chill go up her spine.  She opened the car door, and stepped out into the unexpectedly stale, cold air. Looking up at the mansion, she began to actually wonder what she was doing here.  Why did she go with the girl? How could she just leave her friends behind without a word?  They must be worried about her now.

The girl grabbed her wrist. 

“Come on, Dorothy.  He’s waiting,” she said, pulling her to the house.

“Who?” Lucia asked, completely puzzled.  The girl just chuckled, and led her up to the front door. 

Maybe Lucia’s eyes were deceiving her, but it seemed like the front door opened on its own without the girl touching it. She shook her head. Nice one, she thought to herself. First crazy dreams, now hallucinations?

They walked inside, and Lucia gasped.  It was beautiful.  Everything had a Gothic, Mediterranean look to it.  There were rich reds and blacks, deep violet, and only hints of gold.  The wraparound steps had large marble lions on either side of the base. The foyer was only dimly lit with candles on the walls.

“Oh my God…” Lucia whispered.

“Yes?” a voice answered from behind her. She jumped, and spun around.  There he was…the man from her dream.  She could feel her fingertips start to tingle, and her stomach flipped. 

“Your house is…” she began.

“Gaudy, I know.” He finished for her.

“Beautiful.  I love it,” she replied. The man smiled.

“Oh? Well let me give you a tour then.” He grabbed her hand and led her upstairs.

“My name is Lorenzo, and that is my sister Varina who brought you here.”

“I’m—“

“Lucia. Of course, you know I knew that.  Do you know why you are here?”

Lucia shook her head.

“Because I called you here,” he replied.  They had walked into his upstairs study, and he stopped her in front of him. He brushed the side of her face lightly, trailing down her neck, 

“Such beautiful olive skin…” he whispered, licking his upper lip.

“What do you--” Lucia began.

“You see, I have been watching you since birth.  You have always had a way of traveling in the shadows, and you have such dark thoughts...I am quite fond of you.”  Lorenzo handed her a glass of wine.

“You can read my thoughts?” she asked, fearing what he saw.  

“Only through dreams.  But we all know that dreams are merely thoughts amplified.”  He sat across from her on the couch, crossing his legs. The dim light in the study enhanced the glare in his eerily blue eyes and pale lips.  His fingers seemed longer than she remembered.

“But what about the dream I had of you earlier?”

“That was me.  I needed to find a way for you to be more susceptible to my calling you.”

“So this really is more like a spell you’ve cast on me,” she answered, shuffling uncomfortably in her seat.  She suddenly began to feel even more vulnerable than she began.

“No, it’s only a way to open you up to me. You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for your own interest.” He smiled slightly.

“So what are you trying to say? You bring me here, tell me you’ve been watching me, that you like me, so what? We date or something?” Lorenzo laughed.

“I’m afraid I was thinking a little more long term, Lucia,” he replied. Lucia sat her glass down.

“What, um…what?”

“I’m looking for a bride, for lack of a better term…someone to spend my eternity with.”

“Oh,” Lucia nodded. She sat still for a moment, and then quickly stood up, running for the door. Lorenzo blocked her way.

“Look, Lorenzo, I’m gonna have to think about this,” Lucia pleaded, reaching for the door handle.

“What is there to think about? An eternity of luxury, sex, anything you could ever want.”

She stepped back.

“But what about me?  What about my dreams? Hopes? Plans?”

“All trivial.  I can get you everything.  The only thing you have to pay is daylight.”  Lorenzo answered.

“But what about my friends?”

“You can get new ones.”

“My family?”

“We will be your family.”

“Children?”

“Why so many questions?” He hissed, his fangs beginning to show.  He grabbed Lucia by the shoulders, lightly tapped her on the forehead, and her body went limp. Her vision fogged, and she could feel herself being lifted up. Lorenzo was taking her somewhere, but she was too dazed to fight back, or see where he was going. He lay Lucia down on a bed, and she attempted to speak, but only half of her words came out. 

“Where…you…why…”’

“I was trying very hard not to manipulate you, but you give me no choice,’ he said plainly, smoothing her hair. 

“Lorenzo…” Lucia murmured, reaching out to him. 

“Yes…?” he said, sniffing along her neck. He held the rose quartz between his fingers.

“Please, be gentle…” she said, tracing a finger over his lip. He dropped the stone to the floor, and cut open her shirt with his fingernail. He traced along her ear, leaned down, and whispered,

“Nothing, my dear, is gentle about death.”



~Pusher. Of. Pens.~

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Something of an update...

1) I'm contemplating putting up chapter one of my vampire story...maybe sometime this weekend. 
2) And, another chapter of the first short story could possibly be posted up here next week.    
3) And, once I've thought out and written the short story that I will be submitting to the feminist magazine, I'll most likely post that as well. 

That's 3 different stories. Let's see how I stick to my plan.

Having bought my train tickets to Chicago for March 13-16 already (open house and visiting a friend...or two), I'm pretty nervous about whether or not I'll be accepted. I really large part of me thinks that I will definitely be accepted; I'm just too awesome to not be. But there's a really really really small part of me that's just a little unsure. I hate that part. It gnaws at the back of my brain, trying to break down my confidence. Where the hell did it come from? How do I get rid of it?

One thing's for sure. I want to find out before I leave. I'll be calling them again on Friday to make sure that they received my transcripts from Michigan. If not, I'm faxing over another request for them to mail it to me and Chicago, and I'll even mail my copy to them. It's so frustrating being so damn close to a decision!

And another thing that I have decided: If they don't accept me, I'm going to Chicago anyway. I'll take up Community College to build up my GPA and I'll apply again. And hey, I'll get to transfer more credits, too. 

So regardless of what happens, Chicago's the move.

*sigh* I'll get into Columbia College. I'm sure I will. Well, sort of.  No, no, no.  I will. I will.

~Pusher. Of. Pens.~

Friday, February 13, 2009

So apparently, Obama and MIchelle like to 'fist' together.

Look it up on YouTube.

I've been messing around with my iWork and iLife programs lately, and I'm starting to get the hang of them. I've begun to mess around with my photos, enhancing and creating slideshows and whatnot, I updated/printed my personal contact/business cards, finished my parents' carryout menus, and my next feat will be to design the website for the Restaurant. I love my sporadic bouts of nerdy goodness.


major geek

I just took a really awesome evaluation of my geekiness tendencies that let me know of the obvious stated above. (And yes, the 'r' is purposely not included in the hyperlink...because I forgot it)

In other news, a currently forming feminist zine is looking for submissions, so I am currently working on a short piece of fiction as well as a review or two to submit by the end of March. Yay! A project to keep me focused!

May I also include that I hate taxes? I did my Federal, but I hate State. It's a bunch of fucking bullshit, all the information needed. And it is SO not cut and dry. Unless you work for the IRS. Excuse the colorful language, but I know all of my fellow taxpayers are probably saying the same thing as they fill out the forms. 

Crazy sidebar (as if there aren't enough in this post already):
I had a dream that I had a kitten in my dorm in Chicago, and in order to hide it from the RA, I put it in the closet by coaxing it in with a glass of honey. Really weird. I was afraid it would scratch on the door, so i figured I could keep it busy with honey. 
Upon waking up, I realized this was terribly cruel.
Also upon waking up, I realized I did not, in fact, have a cat, nor was I living in Chicago in a dorm. 
Why is it that all of my kitty dreams are vivid enough for me to think I still have them when I wake up? It sucks.

I want a kitty with great sharpshooting skills to keep the crazy naked men away.



~Pusher. Of. Pens.~

Monday, February 9, 2009

Hit the Ground Running...Like your life depends on it.

ABC News: Going Green to Make Green

Reading this article gave me a little bit of a good feeling inside.  I’m honestly really proud to be part of a generation that is a little more concerned about the well being of the planet rather than making big bucks.

Good thing making money will end up as the reward for being so selfless. -_-

But, reading this article also made me think of “The Day the Earth Stood Still”. I just watched it last week. And although I don’t really think aliens are going to come to Earth and tell us we’re killing it and then go saving a bunch of species except for us, (they probably wouldn’t tell us anyway) a good point was brought up:

“But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve.”

And honestly, that’s exactly what I’m afraid of. I mean, really. There’s preventative medicine--and everyone’s all for that--but what about preventative environmentalism? I know I’m not perfect…I could afford to go way green, I’m sure. But at least I’m thinking about it. I know so many people who don’t give this planet a second’s thought. They take advantage of the fact that it was here when they were born, so it’ll be here when they die—but what about the future of everyone else? Besides, we’re on the verge of doubling our life span (that will be another blog, coming soon), so you might just be here to rush and save it.

Wake up, people. Start thinking smarter. We have so many options. And we keep finding more. I really don't think I'm alone in this.

~Pusher. Of. Pens.~

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Paint is the Debil!

ABC News: Artist of Famed Obama Poster Arrested in Boston

Ooh, the big bad graffiti artist was arrested for coloring on a building. Quite the sensational story.

But really, this one SHOULD be told. It’s another instance of the PD wasting time and money on something as trivial as paint.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am completely biased with this act. Because if someone where showing bigotry or sexism or anything else I found offensive through their graffiti art, I would be mad. Especially if it was on my building. However, on the other end, it’s just paint. Wash it off and move on. Yes, I do want you to pay for the damages, and yes, I do want you to say ‘sorry’. Even though I know you’re not.

However, jail and bail? Come on, people. Come on, po-pos. Are you going to detain a little girl who has a crayon and wants to make a pretty flower on the wall? Or worse, the parents? How about a mentally challenged adult? Hey, you never know.

I know, I know, it’s not the same thing because they aren’t ‘mentally sound’ to know the difference between the rights and wrongs of building decoration.

At the end of the day, I would much rather be spending my tax dollars hearing about you finding a missing child, or arresting a domestic abuser. That’s just my opinion. What do you guys think?

 

~Pusher. Of. Pens.~


Saturday, February 7, 2009

I love my Hello Kitty notepad.

Now just imagine me scribbling away on that thing at a Writer's Conference. 

You bet your sweet tush I did. 

But honestly, I'm really excited about the Conference. I was a little late...it started at 10, I showed up at 1, but I made it just in time to see Sylvia Hubbard speak on Internet Marketing for Writers.  I got a bunch of awesome notes, bought her book (for 5 bucks!) and left feeling refreshed about the fact that although I have nothing ready to publish, I can still maintain a web presence until the day I do! 

Plus, the concept of E-books and publishing myself makes me salivate.

So in honor of my newfound confidence in my lackluster writing consistency/abilities, I have changed my layout a little bit, and will be posting semi-regularly on here (I already have two blogs ready to go). I am also off to hunt down other bloggers to befriend so that I won't be so lonely. 

*Runs off, MacBook in hand, cape billowing behind her in the wind*

~Pusher. Of. Pens.~

Monday, February 2, 2009

Ice Mountain is way better than your crappy ol' Dasani.

I'm currently on a Virginia Woolf/Designer labels kick. I'm feeding my intellectually creative side, as well as the fashionably conscious writer side. 

I'm reading "A room of one's own," Woolf's Six Chapter on Women and Fiction. It's taking time for me to read it because I'm letting it all sink in, and I want to take notes on the things she says. I love the style of it; it's as if she is writing every thought as she has it, along with the daily interruptions. Her sense of humor is very dry (which I absolutely love) and slightly under the radar. I only hope to write so well.  I can't wait to read everything else she's written. (note to self: Make a date with the library this week).

I am also obsessed with looking up different designers, past styles, the evolution of fashion in general. I will be going to school soon to major in writing articles about this stuff, so what the hell is up?  I'm beginning to develop preferences for certain designers, which is also helping me to better define my own style. I know that I am completely eclectic with what I like, but it hasn't reflected in my wardrobe (save a few pieces bought on impulse--I swear that's the best way to know what you really like!). I'm playing it too safe, afraid of being too dressed up, often feeling extremely under dressed in the end.  I want to break out of my comfort zone, and step into something new. I tell myself that I am open-minded...so why not with fashion? That's probably the safest way to test out my limits, I think.

God, I feel so BORING sometimes. I need to start making these changes I speak of.

~Pusher. Of. Pens.~