(aka, 'Yep. Just Me.')
For some women, when you're single (especially when it's recent), I don't think you can help but recall last Valentine's Day. Was it spent alone? Was it with the one you recently broke up with? Or was it a night you can barely remember because of the ridiculous amount of shots you took, and you're trying to erase the memory of that guy/girl you woke up with in the morning (You swore they were hot/younger/normal the night before; you ignored your friends' protests because you assumed they were jealous of how lucky you got).
I've spent the last 7 and a half months of my life learning to be single again. I'm slowly figuring it out. It feels different this time, because I'm finally at an age where I realize that I would like to have someone stick around for longer than a year, and a kid doesn't seem like such a bad idea under the right circumstances.
On the upside, I have a secure job that pays well, a place to live, a cat that cuddles with me every single night, and great friends. And Hulu. I'm working feverishly on both music and my novel, and I'm still pursuing other interests.
But on the downside, I'm alone.
It's this single factor (double-meaning!) against all the other positive aspects of my life, but it can still depress me at times, despite the fact that I'm not looking at all.
And don't give me the line about not relying on someone to make your life complete; I don't look at it that way. I look at romantic love as an incredibly unique and beautiful way for two people to express themselves, and anyone who hasn't felt it--well, I'm truly sorry. I believe in love, I believe that it can be a fantastic feeling, better than any psychedelic I've tried (I'M KIDDING, RIGHT?). I think it can bring out the best in people, and improve our quality of life. But I also think that it doesn't do any good if you can't love yourself first.
So instead of getting sad, let's evaluate ourselves this Valentine's Day. Where do you stand on love? For yourself?
Me? I'm still working on it.
~Pusher. Of. Pens.~
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