I get it now.

I feel I have to over-indulge in the human experience. 

And when I've had my fill, and cannot take anymore, my mouth waters and I regurgitate descriptives, locations, character bios.  I keep purging until I taste the gastro-intestinal acid of the last word.

And the cycle starts all over again. But I'm not sure I'm very fond of this. Perhaps my process is going too slow...should I speed up the binge? 

Or rather, it's about taking time to savor every human experience, allowing it to roll around in my mouth, slowly breaking down into something that I can swallow, but leave on the taste buds of my mind to be savored yet again at a later time. 

Isn't that what we're supposed to do?

It's hard. Hard to savor. Life is going at break-neck speed. Naturally? No. It's forced. 

And so is my Sci-Fi novel. Trying too hard to make it sound like something I'm not quite feeling. Maybe the language, maybe too much Science Fiction for me to write about. Maybe I'm overanalyzing it. Either way, it doesn't feel write--right. 

Fight back for the natural urge.

What comes natural? The Call. I flow in and around the story, adding in pieces of me like a puzzle as I go. And they all fit. I almost seduce myself in a way...wanting to believe the words, wishing for it...

I savor The Call. I vomit my Sci-Fi. Which is better for me?

But I digress.

Almost have a new tattoo figured out... Going along the side of my body from left hip to maybe just under the breast. Or over? Dark, gothic roses. Only black, maybe a deep purple...mauve... I need thorns. This is how I'm feeling. Not depressing, beautiful and imperfect. Delicate and piercing. 

~Pusher. Of. Pens.~

You REALLY wanna know how geeky I am?

WARNING: This post will involve links about Space Travel and my thoughts on Technological Advances/Prophecies. If you don't give a shit, or it scares you, go back to your Facebook-ing, please. 

Here:

Stephen Hawking is totally gonna go to space one day.

Aaand if you haven't heard about this yet, shame on you:

Space Tourism?

Or this:

Let's go on vacay in orbit, honey.

Tell me that shit's not exciting.  Honestly, I completely agree with Hawking's belief that in order for the human race to survive, a good chunk of us need to expand and inhabit other planets before this one's destroyed by the dumb-fucks that think they run it. 

I don't know about you, but if I had the money (which I eventually will), I would be first in line to get the hell outta here and explore/set up on some other planet. I know I'm a sci-fi geek, but I'm also serious. I'm all about going into the unknown. I know it wouldn't be as cool as Serenity or Buck Rogers, but, hell. Someone's gotta do something.  

This is going in a good direction. Space Exploration is so competitive that the price will go down quickly. It has already gone down from a couple million for Suborbital Space Flight to just over 100 grand. How much longer until there's a commercial liner that takes a whole grade of High School students at a reasonable price?

There's a lot of things I plan on doing in my lifetime, and with all of the new leaps taken in technology, my lifespan could easily double before I hit 45. And then imagine the new door of possibilities that would open when you have a longer time to experience it.  As a self-proclaimed technophile, the Singularity is something I hope will be reached in my lifetime. 

I'm not trying to get all prophetic on ya, but Science Fiction is becoming non-fiction. And it's freakin sweet.

Obviously, I have begun writing my Sci-Fi Novel again. Sweet, sweet relief.

~Pusher. Of. Pens.~

I'm still here, I swear.

I had to take a break from this, for fear of poisoning my blog with a bunch of ridiculous emotions. Things are better now. Well enough to keep them to myself.  So here's an update!!!

1) I got into Columbia!

2)Been seriously considering getting back on track with my Sci-Fi Story. Funny how talking about it with people makes me want to write it even more.  But first, I need to brush up on my Sci-Fi lingo.

3)Living back at home REALLY makes you thankful for the uninterrupted quiet moments. 

4)Loving Beau is now Hopefully Really Good Friend After Some Time Has Passed.

5)There are things on here I DEFINITELY want to say, but it's a process. So I'll stick with my stories. 

6)I'm going to look back into some of my older writings, and may post them on here. Feeling a little nostalgic, and I want to put more of myself out there.

7) Going to Cali next month for some much needed relaxation (read: partying until my heart explodes and liver falls out)

That's it for now. Just wanted you to know I haven't completely disappeared.

~Pusher. Of. Pens.~