Reflections on Nanowrimo

(or, 'How I learned to appreciate the half empty glass')



According to the mandated rules of Nanowrimo, I didn't win. By the end of the month, I had only made it to 15,000 words. Now, I could say that there were distractions by the ton: I took a trip to New York, there was the Thanksgiving holiday, new friendships, etc, etc.

I could also say that these were merely excuses that kept me from the task at hand. Both valid (and commonly used) arguments, yes.
A goal of 50,000 words can be a daunting task for the literary neophyte; but some can pull it off (I know of one, for sure). The feeling of accomplishing such a goal can and should be liberating--every single one of those words belongs to you. It is your own creation (now do you understand why there are so many writers that are assholes? They feel like a god--and I completely understand).
So should I feel like a loser? Part of me totally does. I didn't even reach the halfway point in my word count. Perhaps it's not impressive in the grand scheme of novel-writing, or the high aspirations for the month of November (especially when, like me, you try to compare your word count to someone like, oh, I don't know...Stephen King. The man writes fucking tomes). But, in spite of my word count, there was one thing I didn't do.

I didn't quit.
Not once have I said, 'Oh, just forget it. I'm a failure. This is going nowhere.' Yes, I have skipped a shit load a few days. I have had some writing days where I was so scrupulous with my words that I would overthink every sentence that went down, and ultimately delete it. Other days, 2000 words just flowed out so beautifully I thought I may have been slipped some speed (and wanted more). And, of course, almost every day every now and then I chose videogames, movies, Korean Dramas or knitting over writing because I truly felt I had nothing to say. And who wants to stare at a blank screen or page with nothing to offer? It's like going on stage, and you forgot all your lines. And you're naked. And sweaty.

Our goals are our own. 50,000 words is just a catalyst to get you thinking about your own aspirations. It could actually be any amount of words you want--30,000, 15,000, 4000, 100,000.  Whatever makes you feel accomplished, set the mark there. Maybe you aren't writing every day, but you are thinking every day. Throughout an entire day, I think about all of the stories I'm writing at some point. I like to build in my head, and then get it all out in large quantities. Sometimes that takes a couple days, and sometimes a whole week.

Don't get me wrong--I still have a lot to work on when it comes to discipline, and I would love to write every single day, but I refuse to beat myself up over a goal not yet reached. I'd rather think about how I can keep moving forward.

November is over, and I'm still writing. I'd like to think of myself as a winner.

~Pusher.of.Pens.~